我的藏獒开了我的花苞

He takes another sluggish swig from the bottle and swallows as though it is his treatment to acquire peace even if it means just for a little while.

I watch the red viscous blood that gushes out from his cut as he clutches onto the knife tighter wounding himself deeper deliberately causing himself pain. Physical pain he finds better to deal with than the agonising turmoil he is facing inside. "Give me the knife, Phobos." My voice is faint and calming but it falls on deaf ears.

"Were you happy? Without me beside you? Were you more at peace than here? Was there ever a day where you never smiled? Did your soul not ache and bleed for mine as mine did for yours?"

"I was never truly happy. How could I ever be joyful without you in my life?" I whisper with a dull smile.

"Then why?!" He bellows flashing his canines at me and I jerk back gasping at his aggression. "Why did you abandon me like that? Why would you throw away everything?"

"It is not what you think, do not finalize things without talking to me first." I glare at him with ire. I need to make him understand, his mind has probably sent forth innumerable untruths of the reasons behind my decision to leave that he deems as the ultimate fact.

"No matter how much I think about it I only seem to conclude my questions with one explanation."

"And what is that?"

"You despise me. You loathe me, my very existence with everything you possess within you. Those words were your last to me before you disappeared so it must be true." How tipsy is this male to come up with such an absurd justification?

"I do not hate you, Phobos. I never can no matter what you do to me. I left only because you hurt me. How come you do not see this?"

"I hurt you? Because I consoled a broken female? Because I kept my promise to her male and did my duty as her Alpha?"

"No! Because you allowed her to kiss the lips that belonged to me. You allowed her the intimacy that should have only been mine. It does not matter the motives behind the kiss but you savagely shattered my heart. And instead of reassuring me you chose and supported another female. You defended Moira when I was heartbroken.

I have loved you since I was five Phobos. Five for goodness\' sake! And for me, that was the biggest tear to my soul." I tiredly lean my back against the bed pursuing support as tears of heartbreak well in my eyes to the distressing crack of my heart.

His drained ocean blues devoid of any light collide with mine and he seals them incapable of continuing to see the consequences of his kiss with Moira.

"Do you desire my apology? I can give it to you, I have prepared it. A small part of me sensed that you deserted me because of what occurred that night and not because you were forcibly taken by one of my enemies, that I was the climactic cause for your exit and what followed. I believed I was doing the right thing but it is not right if it compels my female to leave me is it?

So I shall ask for your forgiveness and I can promise you it will never happen again." My eyes broaden to his truth as tears slip down my cheeks and he follows their torturous trail with a grimace, I hadn\'t expected this from him. Phobos never did let pride prevent him from atoning to his wrongdoings when it came to me.

He apologized for all the little things but for this, I did not foresee it from him.

"Then will you accept my apology for what I did what Karel?"

"Yes. I will." His response is unhesitant and relief drowns me whilst my rib cage eases around my heart. I can finally breathe.

"You killed him." It was not a question rather a concluding statement for I know he remorselessly slaughtered that male in cold blood.

"No. I sent him back home a few days after I calmed. He did not know who you were and he was of your age a young wolf with a future. I knew if I took his life you would loathe yourself and I did want that."

I sob harder binding my hands around my middle comforting myself grateful that I did not have Karel\'s blood on my hands. The moon will not curse me for it. When I raise my face to regard him once more so I can seek his forgiveness for what I had done after I left I obtain my answer from those stormy blues and I clamp my mouth shut before I could utter another word.

"What do you want?" I ask breathlessly gasping for air as he digs the tip of his knife further into his open gash injuring himself further. More additional blood seeps out and trickles down his arm to splatter all over the ground staining the wooden floors with its dark colour. He is losing a lot of blood and he can only commence healing if he ceases holding onto that godforsaken blade.